5 female acts, after which it is worthwhile to terminate the relationship: the opinion of men

What can become a barrier to build a relationship? Men from different countries talked about their feelings and reasons that prompted them to decide to part. Stories commented by a psychoanalyst.

Manipulation with tears

“At the beginning of our relationship, I lost my head – I was ready to do everything for her and without hesitation,” Matthew (England) admits. – Pretty soon I came across the fact that at the slightest disagreement, the main weapon was used – tears.

I could not resist. And now we were going to get acquainted with people who are not interested in me, or went to the cottage to her relatives. Free days planned as she wants exclusively. It’s hard for me to see her tears. Especially when this happened in public – she loved to arrange a scene in a restaurant, and I felt like a insignificance that the woman tormented in front of everyone ”.

“This is normal when a woman allows herself to be weak with a man and expects support from him,” says Nikolai (Russia). -If this is reasonably and something serious happened, the duty of a man is to be near and protect her. However, my girlfriend made a real show of everything.

Any insignificant incident, the slightest difficulty gave birth to fright, and she with tears condemned the solutions to me. It turned out that I communicate not with an adult, but with an infantile child. What will happen if something serious happens to me and help you myself?”

Complaints to outsiders

“As soon as we quarreled, and the disagreements are inevitable in every pair, she immediately called the support group – to her mother, sister, friends, and she told everything,” says Andrei (Kazakhstan). – As a result, we put up, and I remained, as they say, on the bench.

In the end, I am tired of being those who are always to blame and offends the “poor girl”. And still from common acquaintances, I learn what was supposed to remain between us “.

“I didn’t want to change anything in our relationship, https://globalpharmacy24.com/drug/tadalista-super-active except for one thing: she shared too much with her relatives – cousins ​​and sister,” says Francois (France). – And when we met at a common table on family holidays, I felt awkward from their views.

I have nothing against these people, but it’s unpleasant for me that someone else knows about the details of my personal life. And we parted largely due to the fact that her sister set against me “.

Ignoring

“Of course, like any person, I am wrong and I can offend,” Simon admits (Canada). – This was when I rudely joked with respect to her friends. She stopped talking to me that evening. The next day I called to apologize, she did not pick up the phone.

Only a couple of days later managed to meet and make peace. I did not expect this to be her usual reaction – just to disappear. Messages and calls ignored. In the end, because of this, we broke up “.

“She knew how to play on my feelings,” recalls Mark (USA). -If something was not satisfied, instantly sent to Ignor. This meant-come on, conquer me, play by my rules, look for meetings by any means. At first it worked. I flooded her with messages. Sent bouquets with notes. This is the only way she could descend and answer me something.

We began to communicate until her next offense. I worried this hard, even applied to alcohol, and in the end went to a psychologist. And only as I understood – this is just a game so that I confirm her my own significance. No dialogue in this case is impossible. This has become a good lesson for me for the future “.

Mercantility

“Of course, it is pleasant to delight your beloved girl with flowers, gifts and surprises, if it goes heart. But when she is sure: a man owes her – this repels all desire to continue the relationship, – says Artem (Russia). – I don’t owe anything to anyone.

Women now work in the same way and make great money. Moreover, everywhere they are trumpeting about partnership and equality when it comes to a career or distribution of roles in the household. Why then one of the equal partners is obliged to invest, at the request of the other,?”

“I have my own, well -established business, and I can afford a lot,” says Claudio (Germany). – I felt that as I went to a new financial level, I am increasingly attracting girls whom I call the “counters”. They accurately determine your status. It immediately turns away.

And all these conversations that the search for a more successful man is laid in the genes of a woman, she is looking for a guarantee of protection for herself and the unborn child – predators themselves invented. A man protects a woman not by a bank account, but with other qualities, and if she is not able to evaluate it – why do I need such a woman?”

Ultimatum

“The worst that can forever destroy relationships is tough ultimatums,” Vadim (Estonia) admits (Estonia). – I don’t know why it is believed that women are more prone to discuss problems and compromises. In fact, they like to put you before the fact: either your hobby (I have this sports), or I. However, even if you fulfill all its requirements, there is no guarantee that it will not continue to manipulate ”.

“Favorite argument to my ex: since you are not doing this, then you don’t love me enough. But I do not want me to be evaluated as a trained animal, whether he is successfully jumping on his hind legs! – says Alexander. – Why should I choose and feel in the position of a guilty? Because of this, we divorced. Now that I hear the imperative notes, I always think: whether I chose a woman “.

“Claims to a partner are often related to their own shadow qualities”

Leo Hegai, Jungian analyst

Scenarios of child-child relationships are always in the proximity of partners-that first, significant connection for us. And the resentment of her beloved woman, expressed in tears or ignoring, often turn out to be not just methods of pressure and manipulation. In relations, we inevitably trust the partner our weak, wounded sides.

You have to become a fairly good parental figure for another, which he might not have enough in childhood. This is fine. The task at the same time is not to completely shift the burden of emotional problems over the shoulders of the partner, but thanks to the atmosphere of love and taking steps in their own internal development, that is, grow from their childhood injuries.

Then in the pair there will gradually be less than the feeling of using each other and more understanding. However, it is important not to blame, but take a step towards. Perhaps these men are not ready to work on relationships and endure difficulties. Some relate to the partner consumerly and are ready to return the “goods” at the first displeasure at the first displeasure.

Many cannot understand that their claims to the partner are often related to the projection of their own shadow qualities, whether it be excessive emotionality, resentment, dependence on relatives and friends, mercantiles. Close relationships always highlight their own problems, and you need to be ready to deal with them.